Pilfering Pints

Question: Where do almost 163,000 pints of Guinness get put to waste every year?

Answer: In mustaches.

For bearded gents, a finely tuned mustache isn't just about facial hair craftsmanship—it's their follicular pièce de résistance. Whether they’ve deployed a glob of wax to meticulously shape their bristle batons into a perfectly quaffed handlebar—convincingly emulating Milburn Pennybags—or are dealing with critiques like "thick, furry caterpillar" or "misplaced eyebrow," mustaches undoubtedly boast a special sort of magnetism.

No matter its pedigree, a man donning a stache successfully convinces himself that he's reached the pinnacle of gentlemanly distinction. But with great hair comes great responsibility, and every set of glorious whiskers comes with challenges as thick as the facial hair itself. Beyond the burden of grooming, styling, and regular visits to the barber, individuals with facial hair also grapple with involuntarily “saving their meal for later.” Oftentimes, sporting a stache or beard will leave you at the mercy of dripping ice cream cones, a burger’s oozing juices, glazed BBQ ribs, buttery cobs of corn—you name it—the crumb-catching scruff suffers it all.

Regrettably, regarding the renowned Irish stout, Guinness, what was formerly a minor inconvenience for esteemed fellows with facial fuzz has now transformed into an endless financial drain. Research commissioned by the iconic Irish brewing company in 2000 shed light on the astonishing fact that the average mustachioed drinker traps approximately a pint and a half of Guinness annually in their facial hair, resulting in an additional "mustache tax" of up to $5.74 per year. According to the research study, an estimated 162,719 pints of Guinness are wasted in facial hair each year in the UK; this implies that, if all 1.8 million men in the country with facial hair were to enjoy a pint of Guinness simultaneously, the total loss would be a staggering 17,684 pints in just one sitting.

This is nothing to scoff at, surely, which is why Guinness enlisted hair science and dermatological specialist Robin Dover to explore the full extent of the loss. Dover's two-day analysis involved studying the Guinness-soaked mustache hair of eight volunteers, utilizing pre-weighed tissues and “highly accurate” scales. While facial hair is capable of absorbing 20% of its own weight in liquid, the study revealed that most of the wastage occurred between the fibers of the facial hair. On average, 0.56 milliliters of Guinness were found to be trapped in the beard or mustache with each sip and, considering it takes about ten sips to finish a pint, the implications were clear.

With an estimated 92,370 Guinness consumers in the UK each year boasting facial hair—assuming an average consumption of 180 pints annually—the total cost of wasted Guinness due to facial hair amounts to approximately $536,000. This startling revelation prompts the question: Is the pride of a well-kempt beard or mustache worth the financial cost in wasted pints? The moral of the story is clear—shave and save. As the saying goes, "a penny saved is a penny earned," and in this case, it might just be a pint saved as well.

Four Fun Facts About Guinness:

• There’s a company dedicated to solving the epidemic of mustache-related beer loss: A Missouri-based company, Whisker Dam, has dedicated itself to addressing the issue of mustache-related beer spillage. They offer a copper shield—also named “Whisker Dam”—which individuals with facial hair can securely attach to their pints for a spill-free drinking experience. Embracing the motto "It's like an umbrella for your face," this innovative solution builds upon a tradition that dates back over a century. The concept of pint guards for mustached beer drinkers traces its roots to the mid-19th century when British potter Harvey Adams introduced the mustache cup. The trend continued with an official patent by Ruben P. Hollinshead in 1890, designed to "[suspend] a gentleman's mustache in order to keep the same up out of the way at the table, thus preventing the annoyance which so frequently is experienced in eating soups and other like foods, and drinking tea, coffee, or other liquids by gentlemen having heavy moustaches." 


• Guinness’s founder signed a 9,000-year contract to own their iconic brewery and, when this contract was once breached, let’s just say he… took matters into his own hands: St. James Gate is the original entrance to the Guinness brewery, located in Dublin city center on St. James Street (hence the name). A gigantic black door with gold lettering, over the years it has become a must-see for tourists coming to discover Dublin and the famous Guinness. The founder of Guinness—Arthur Guinness—initiated a legacy of Master Brewers and brewing craftsmanship here when he signed a remarkable 9,000-year lease on the iconic Dublin brewery on December 31, 1759. The lease terms included the use of a limited water supply and, when Dublin Corporation attempted to cut off the water due to overuse, legend has it that "Mr. Guinness violently rushed upon them," seizing a pickaxe and vehemently declaring they should not proceed, accompanied by some colorful language.


• When the harp was made the national symbol of Ireland, the government had to flip it to avoid copyright infringement against Guinness: By the 1860s, Guinness stout had gained global popularity, and the Guinness family sought a symbol that would unmistakably associate the brand with Ireland. The harp, symbolizing Irish culture and heritage, became the chosen emblem. In 1922, with the creation of the Irish Free State, the government decided to adopt the harp as their national logo as well—but, thanks to the Guinness family’s claim to the emblem, the state had to flip the harp around to adhere to trademark regulations.


• In the 1890’s, a daring group of men embarked on a worldwide journey to report back on the standard of Guinness: From South Africa to Australia and China to Brazil, they literally risked life and limb travelling the world by steamship, enduring stormy seas to ensure that Guinness was being shipped, stored, and served in quality conditions.

On our Irish Adventure: Dublin, Belfast & the Northwest Counties adventure, you can enjoy a pint of Guinness, visit the St. James Gate, and go on a tour of the Guinness Storehouse during your free time exploring Dublin.