Journeying to India in honor of a brother and mother
Eloise Smith, 2-time traveler, Carlisle, Pennsylvania
I called OAT about a different trip entirely and simply—and surprisingly—found myself saying “yes” to the Heart of India trip instead. I suppose I was meant to go there this time. I didn’t know much about the culture and life in India, but I did recall such great enthusiasm on the part of my brother after he returned from India a few years prior.
My brother was a freelance photographer in Philadelphia. His wife’s sister was living in India for a period of time, and they went to visit her. He remarked that there were endless photo opportunities and he captured them with his lens. He disliked digital photography because it is so easily manipulated. So, he was instantly taken by the real and true colors and sensualities of India. Unfortunately, I never saw his work. So, in a way, I had to see it for myself.
Following my brother’s untimely death a few years ago from cancer at age 57, I worked at trying to know him a little better. I listened to his favorite music of Otis Redding, read works by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., and traveled to places he loved. Venice, in particular, always evoked his memory. My brother and I were close in spirit and heart, but I was working for the U.S. Army and stationed in Europe from 1996-2008, so we were geographically separated. I was alone in Europe and it may have been part of my coping mechanism in dealing with his untimely death. The trip to India, I suppose, was another attempt to know my brother, whom I loved so dearly, even better. I was privileged to see sights at least similar to those he had witnessed and recorded. He was on my mind throughout the trip; I felt him smiling with me.
Eloise brings her mother’s sari with her on her trip to India as a way to honor her enthusiasm for the country.
I also had a fine thread of connection to India through my mother. When I was very young, my mother was the president of a ladies auxiliary group, which sponsored cultural programs for their meetings. As a child, I recall her enthusiasm for India. I was delighted by the little rickshaw she showed me. And I thought her sari—pink with black and metallic threads—was the most beautiful material I had ever seen. She also had three silver bangle bracelets, which I wore constantly on my trip to India.
Several years ago, when my mother relocated and downsized after my father’s death, I found her sari. It remained folded in aged tissue paper until my trip. Prior to the trip, our OAT Trip Leader, Kapil Rohatgi, encouraged us to bring anything we had that was particular to India, as we would be there for the Festival of Lights.
Trip Leader Kapil Rohatgi encouraged Eloise’s group to bring special items that could be worn during Diwali, the Festival of Lights.
I reached for the sari and packed it with a very old magazine article showing how to wrap the fabric—and included the necessary undergarments. I did my best to be prepared. Early in the trip, I informed Kapil that I had the sari and we agreed that it would be good to wear it on the evening of the Festival of Lights, since we would be guests in a private home.
That night, I asked if it would be possible to have someone wrap the sari for me at the hotel desk. Kapil confirmed the plan and at the appointed time, a lovely young woman appeared at my room to offer assistance. She adjusted and adjusted … and adjusted, and pinned and pinned … and pinned—until finally, she was satisfied with the result. However, she didn’t care much for the top I had chosen to wear underneath. I had packed it specifically to be worn with the sari and had no better choices in my luggage. But off I went anyway! When I joined the others in the hotel lobby, there were many compliments and I was so pleased to be able to do this in my mother’s honor.
Eloise and her Trip Leader Kapil Rohatgi prepare for the Festival of Lights.
At the end of the trip, I presented Kapil with my mother’s sari, and left it where it belonged: in India.
I must say that the entire trip was a huge success and delight for me. This was true thanks to the untiring attention to detail provided by Kapil. I cannot praise him enough. He is, indeed, a wonderful ambassador for his country, and also for OAT.
Since my experience, my daughter-in-law’s mother has also arranged to go to India. She credits me as her inspiration. She lives in California, and I am in Pennsylvania, but we were together for Christmas. In advance, she asked me to bring my photo DVDs from the trip. I took them, but recommended that she not view them. I wanted her to be as surprised and amazed as I was as the wonders of India unfold before her. I’m sure she’ll know why later.
It was a trip, the memories of which I will always treasure. It was sentimental for me. It was powerful for me. I left a kiss on the Taj Mahal and saw a Bengal tiger. I saw the marvels my brother enjoyed and I wore my mother’s sari in its rightful place.
Visiting the Taj Mahal was an especially sentimental moment for Eloise.
To quote Kurt Vonnegut Jr. (an expression often repeated by my brother), “If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is!”
My mother passed away peacefully in May. In cases of dementia, it is impossible to know how much the person truly does understand. I hope my mother realized how much I love and honor her … always.
See the awe-inspiring Taj Mahal—and other stunning sights—on our Heart of India adventure.