My Dinner with the Geisha
In Kyoto, I enjoyed a rare glimpse of a timeless Japanese art
by Harriet Lewis
While we were in Japan together, Charlotte and I had dinner with a geisha and her maiko (an apprentice). The geisha was about 22 or 23 years old, and the maiko was 19—Charlotte’s age at the time. The lifestyle of a geisha has not changed much over the centuries. Living in a boarding house called an okiya, she goes through years of intense training in the traditional arts of music, dance, and the tea ceremony. Every gesture, every glance, is gentle, controlled, and almost ballet-like. Her appearance, too, is an art form, and her hairstyle, kimono, and makeup take hours to perfect each day.
As we went through an elaborate meal with our elegant hostesses, Charlotte sat next to the geisha and I sat next to the maiko. It didn’t take long for me to notice that the maiko never took her eyes off of me—it was an intensely devoted stare that was intended, I’m sure, to make me feel like there was nobody else in the world but me. Eventually, I had to tell the poor girl that it was making me uncomfortable, and I could see that she was taken aback. I’m sure that as unsettling as her gaze was to me, the men she entertains must find it absolutely captivating.
And yes, for a geisha, it is usually about the men. Very rarely do they dine with other women. When I asked the pair about their way of life, they were quick to point out that their roles had nothing to do with sex—as if they were accustomed to defending themselves against the stereotype. (Sadly, they probably are.) In reality, true geisha don’t go on dates or have boyfriends, and they must retire when they wish to marry. I liken the profession to a priesthood or nunnery—yet what type of fervent belief encouraged these women to pursue such a strictly regimented life?
For a geisha, they told me, it’s not about beliefs—it’s about opportunities: to eat in celebrated restaurants, to meet interesting people, and, above all, to travel. Our geisha spoke with excitement about visiting California. In keeping with her tradition, she boarded the plane in full costume—and her various trinkets and hair ornaments set off every metal detector she walked through. Needless to say, because a true geisha must be properly dressed for every occasion, she had a ton of luggage.
In English, the closest translation of the word “geisha” is “performing artist”—and I gained enormous respect for the dedication and skill these ladies demonstrated in preserving their traditional arts. And while there are far fewer geisha today than there were a century ago, I’m glad that the art form survives … even though so few women have the opportunity to see it in practice.
Experience the ancient traditions of Japan for yourself during our Japan’s Cultural Treasures adventure.